My Little Groom Wars
by KidatHeart5
Summary: This is my MLP spin of "Bride Wars"! I thought it would be funny if the brides were gender-flipped. Shining Armor and Discord had dreamed of their wedding days since they were small. When they become engaged to their mare friends, they book their weddings with Cheese Sandwich. But after a mix-up with the dates, the two friends decide to sabotage each other's wedding planning!
1. Prologue: A Dream Wedding

_It all began in Canterlot, many years ago in the month of June. A unicorn brought her young son to the café for tea._

"Mom, why do we have to be here?" the young colt groaned. Twilight Velvet answered, "I've brought you with me because your father's busy and I have a tea party to attend. But if you like, you can explore the streets of Canterlot. Just don't stray too far from the café." Shining Armor beamed and said, "Thanks, Mom!" As soon as his mom entered the café, he took to the streets and wandered all about. He was interested in many of the sights.

When the sunlight was dimming, Shining Armor couldn't find his way back. "Uh-oh," he said. "I'm lost! What am I going to do?" Just then he heard someone shout, "Gangway!" Shining Armor turned too late and the figure crashed into him.

As his senses were being regained, the colt thought he saw the most peculiar thing. He saw a moderate amaranth snake tail with a white tuft that was attached to a brown body. That body also had strange legs: a lizard's right and a goat's left. As the colt and the figure stood up and faced each other, Shining Armor was astonished at the latter's appearance. He remarked, "You are one weird-looking dude." The creature shrugged, "Yeah, I get that a lot. I'm a draconequus, a being with the head of a horse and various other parts."

Shining Armor was astounded and smiled, "That's so cool! Where does your family live?" The draconequus's face saddened a little as he replied, "That's just it. I'm by myself. I wander from place to place because I'm not like the rest." The colt took pity on him and said, "If it's the same to you, I'm not, either." He turned to show his blank flank and said, "Look, no cutie mark."

This made the draconequus better and he told him, "Well, do you have powers like these?" He snapped his claw and an umbrella on a table suddenly rose up in the air and turned itself inside-out and upside-down. Shining Armor said with wide eyes, "Oh, wow! How did you do that?" The creature smiled, "They don't call me 'Discord' for nothing! I have the powers to bend reality and create chaos! But lately…"

He looked left and right and whispered to the colt, "…I think Princess Celestia and her guards have their eyes on me. It's like I'm Equestria's most wanted criminal! Can you believe that?" Shining Armor chuckled, "With the magic you have, you could get away from them!" Discord waved his paw and scoffed, "That's nothing compared to this!"

Suddenly, Discord disappeared in a white flash. It took Shining Armor only a few seconds to look around before Discord reappeared again in another spot and shouted, "I was here!" He did it again and continued, "I was there!" When he reappeared again, there were many clones of him surrounding the colt. The clones all finished, "I was everywhere!" Shining Armor laughed while Discord merged into his own self.

Discord said, "By the way, I didn't get your name." The colt answered, "It's Shining Armor." The draconequus inspected him in disbelief and said, "You don't look like much of a knight, you know." Shining Armor explained, "Well, I'm hoping to be part of the royal guard someday." Discord looked at him uneasily and asked, "You're not going to turn me in when you do, are you?" Shining Armor chuckled, "No, no. You're a really cool guy, Discord."

This was the first compliment the draconequus had ever heard. It warmed even the roughest patch of his heart. Just then, they heard bells ringing at a distance. Shining Armor said, "That's strange. It's not sundown yet." Discord took great curiosity at the streamers that rose from afar.

"Come on," he said. "Let's check it out." He took the colt and teleported themselves to where the hubbub was. When they arrived, Shining Armor was still trying to gather what just happened. Before he knew what was happening, Discord took him to the nearest vase. "Get down!" he whispered.

With a flash of light, Discord was in camouflage attire. He looked into his binoculars as the colt asked, "What's happening? Where are we?" Discord looked around and said, "Hmm…they got a cake, decorations, and ponies in funny outfits. It looks like either one very weird birthday party or a wedding."

_He was right about the wedding. But little did they know that it was this one wedding that would soon change their lives forever. On that one fateful afternoon, there was something blue, something borrowed, and something completely magical. And two little boys in Canterlot had a new dream-that one day they would find that one pony who would stand by them no matter what and when they did, they too would have June wedding at the palace._

Shining Armor fastened the blue button on Discord's tux. They kept this wedding memento when it fell out of the groom's tux. "Thank you," Discord said. He turned to the pretend altar and said, "And, yes, Your Honor, I will take this admirable mare to be my wife." Shining Armor was slightly embarrassed to play the bride, but he said, "I always knew my wedding would be the happiest day of my life. Now I will dance with you until we have six foals and a house." Discord took the bouquet and swung it playfully at the colt as he laughed, "As if!"

After a few humorous moments, the two boys got up and danced underneath their makeshift tent. Shining Armor's father, Night Light, climbed up the stairs carefully and looked contently at the two friends playing together. Night Light looked at the picture of his and Twilight Velvet's wedding day and smiled. His gaze shifted towards the two boys as his son asked, "Next time, can I play the groom?" "Shining, you know how ugly I would be as a bride!" Discord pointed out. "Good point," the colt said. The boys laughed at this and continued dancing.


	2. Best Friends Forever

**_AN: Happy birthday, Snowfrost! I hope this chapter meets your expectations!_**

Years soon passed and the bond between the two friends only grew. Shining Armor's parents agreed to take Discord in when they found that he was an orphan. The colt and draconequus became like brothers and embarked on many escapades together. After Discord joined the family, a sister was born. The proud parents called her Twilight Sparkle and she delighted both her true and adopted brothers. When Shining Armor became part of the royal guard, he got his cutie mark. It also prompted Discord to behave more often to stay in the good graces of the guard.

Years afterwards, when Twilight became a princess, Discord was proud of both of his adopted siblings. Even though he was jealous, he knew that he was special in his own way. Not long after Twilight was coronated, Shining Armor caught the eye of supermodel Fleur Dis Lee and Discord began hanging out more with Twilight's friend Fluttershy. The two colt friends soon began dating their mare friends. They were even invited to the Cakes' wedding.

At the reception, the guest were laughing, dancing, and chatting away. Discord and Shining Armor looked around and the former remarked, "Not too shabby. The Marzipan Meringue Madness…" The stallion said, "Personalized napkins, white glove service…"Discord continued, "Ooh! Do I see Palomino daffodils?" Shining Armor pointed towards the deejay, "Look! There's DJ Pon-3!"

Discord gasped, "I love her! She's absolutely amazing! We've got to admit: this reception is spectacular." Shining Armor said casually, "Hmm, yeah." Discord caught this and asked, "But?" The stallion asked, "Do you think it's the work of Cheese Sandwich?"

The draconequus contemplated, "Hmm…I don't think so. He would've done something_ far _more extravagant than this." Shining Armor asked, "What about Pinkie Pie?" Discord answered, "Well, she's crazy fun, but when it comes to both of them…" The stallion finished, "…the confetti will fly."

Discord said, "Both are great party planners, but if this was _my _wedding…" Shining Armor chuckled, "Oh, just say it." Discord shook his head, "It ain't June." Shining Armor agreed, "And it ain't the palace." They clanged their glasses before their mare friends came up to them. Shining Armor gasped, "And here you are."

While Fluttershy and Discord were kissing, Fleur Dis Lee remarked about the swan ice sculpture, "Oh, look. An ice sculpture. Is it a duck? Honestly, they need to do better craftsmanship than this." The two kissed before Fleur asked, "You know what else is great?" Shining Armor said, "Going home early and getting prepped for your next runway show?" Fleur stood silent before she asked, "Am I that predictable?"

Discord had Fluttershy in his arms when she said, "How about one more dance…and I'll give you my piece of the cake- if you take care of the animals for a day." Discord chuckled, "Very funny, my dearest." Fluttershy tried to use puppy eyes on him while she pleaded, "Please, Discord? For me?" Discord said, "You know Angel hates me."

Just then, Mr. Cake walked up to the stage and towards the microphone. He said into it, "Hello? Is this thing working?" When he heard no echo, he tapped it, causing loud feedback to resound throughout the room. He chuckled nervously and spoke into the now-functioning microphone, "Hey, everypony. Sorry for taking out your ears like that." Discord spoke from the crowd, "Well, thankfully, my ears are still attached."

Suddenly, his ears fell to the floor and most ponies chuckled. Discord blushed as he picked them up and reattached them to his head. Though the spirit made it look like he was embarrassed, Shining Armor knew too well that he was playing with Mr. Cake. The stallion had lived long enough with Discord to distinguish between what was genuine and what was for laughs. The other ponies seemed to know, too. Shining Armor was grateful that they considered Discord as one of them, but he was especially lucky to be his adopted brother.

The stallion returned his attention to Mr. Cake. The groom said, "So, anyway, instead of following the old tradition, the missus and I thought we could try something else for a change. She's still going to throw the bouquet, but since we thought the garter was a bit…*ahem*…much, we decided to go with the cake topper. If you catch this, you're going to be the next one to get married. Now, are you colts ready to catch this? Just think about it, feel it, catch it." Mr. Cake turned his back towards the crowd and he said, "One, two, three!"

He threw the cake topper behind his back and Discord reached for it while Shining Armor pounced for it.

_I would have seen the signs if I'd been there. It's all right there. Look at Shining's eyes- Like a hunter's. And Discord's paw- How would you like _that _clasped around your throat?_

_Neither of them could imagine hurting each other at that point. Why should they? They were inseparable for many years._

When Celestia raised the sun, Shining Armor was trotting on the Canterlot streets towards the palace. Discord flew behind him and panted, "Okay, slow down." The stallion turned towards him and said, "Hey, you're cheating! You're supposed to be _running_, not flying. Look at this." He ran circles around the floating spirit as the stallion said, "I'm running circles around you. Do you know that?"

Discord scoffed, "Do you know how many things I can do at once, even without flying?" He popped up many household items around him as he continued, "You know what a multitasker I am." When the items disappeared, Shining Armor chuckled, "An especially chaotic multitasker. I think one of the things you should be doing is keeping out of trouble." Discord said, "Oh, come now! When was the last time I've gotten into trouble?"

Shining Armor shot him a dubious look as if they both knew what happened. The draconequus looked at him uneasily and cleared his throat, "Well, I suppose I should be on my way. Have fun standing like a statue, Shiny." He chuckled as he flew off. Shining Armor shouted at him, "I'm not made out of stone!" Still, the stallion chuckled as he made his way to the palace.


End file.
